053010

The great wisdom for writers, perhaps for everybody, is to come to understand **to be at one with their own tempo.**

--Alan Hollinghurst

_____

Just in case you were wondering, _I do not_ have a girlfriend.

*Lord's-Jester*

I've been writing for Fragrantica about six months. My latest article is up:

Fragrantica

This week we made three perfumes, Dionysus, Phoebe, and Selene. With Dionysus, we made a larger batch, about a cup. That one's a mystery to me: I know how and why it works, but the details of how it works is a conundrum. It works and that's all I need to know. It's got a distinct funkiness to it, and that's just right. With Phoebe, my goal was to make one last batch before making a larger batch. I have to be sure that all aromatic amounts are copacetic before embarking on a large batch. If you have a given amount of an aromatic material called for in a formula, you will need to alter it slightly. Maybe hay is too much, jonquil is a touch too plentiful, or pink pepper is too macho.

My experience, with the larger batches I made before, is that certain quantities of aromatics need to be curtailed or expanded depending. Generally, I've found that sweet things are fine; it's the harsher elements that tend to become too harsh. Hay or tobacco ruined the last batch of Demeter; I mean it's fine, but I notice a hair too much of something. Of course, that could also be because I switched suppliers. If you've got materials which you like, best go ahead and make the full batch; it's somewhat frightening how the odor profiles change according to different material sources. Daphne is just right (based on tonka bean); would that the larger batch (I'm going to make a large batch) turns out right.

We also made a batch of Selene solid. This is the perfume I passed Level One of Mandy Aftel's course with. For this batch, I decided to add to the aromatics; it's got 18 notes instead of 12. I fleshed out the various notes that I take to be necessary of real perfume. Six notes are in each category, base, heart, top. The result is I find very powdery; I tried to enhance the powderiness. I included orris, carnation, clary sage, and petitgrain. This makes me think of moonlight: Selene was goddess of the moon. I've already got a liquid perfume called Selene; I happen to think it's one of my best. This was an experiment to see if I could make a solid that's close.

*Movies*

I trust you've all seen by now the adverts for The Karate Kid, played this time by Jackie Chan as the teacher and Jaden Smith as the student. This is exactly what I'm talking about: a role that was played originally by a white kid, suddenly is played by a black kid. I think the roles have totally opened up, and I think it's because of one movie: Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino. In that movie, Clint plays a racist character, but one who protects the neighborhood. With the recent immigration of South-Asian folks, he finds that he's pretty much alone. Then once the shit hits the fan, Clint doesn't leave his prized possession (Gran Torino) to a white kid--he leaves it to a Vietnamese kid. I think things have opened to the point where a black kid can have a good shot at playing a role formerly reserved for a white kid. This turn of events has me incredibly pleased.

*Indonesia*

What is the largest producer of coffee in the whole world? If you're thinking Columbia, you couldn't be more wrong. It's Indonesia. Of course, they drink plenty coffee in Indonesia, but it's done "cowboy style:" grounds are put into a glass, boiling water is poured over them, and the whole thing is left to sit for a minute or two. That's the way they prepare coffee in Indonesia. And you can get it everywhere, in that vast jungle nation. I spent about a month in Sumatra, there with my brother who'd spent some time in Jakarta. There was one coffee shop in Bukittingi where we found ourselves a lot. It was not early-morning coffee drinking we were there for; it was all hours. And every cup we had was cowboy coffee. It amazes me that now I need to have multiple methods of making coffee, most importantly the Keurig coffee maker which is my lifeblood. I know now that, regardless of the method, I'd be able to get my coffee on.

*Quotations*

The great wisdom for writers, perhaps for everybody, is to come to understand to be at one with their own tempo.

--Alan Hollinghurst

I like to hear and smell the countryside, the land my characters inhabit. I don't want these characters to step off the page; I want them to step out of the landscape.

--Peter Matthiesson

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

--Jimi Hendrix

I knew a woman, lovely in her bones;

When small birds sighed, she would sigh back at them.

--Theodore Roethke

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant; there is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.

--Johann Gottfried von Herder

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

--Dorothy Parker

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

--Dr Seuss

There are only really a few subjects in poetry: growing old, dying, intellectual or physical passion, the search for self or identity. The smaller subjects we might write about are just ways to get into those basic things.

--Linda Pastan

To know someone here or there with whom you feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts unexpressed--that can make of this earth a garden.

--Goethe

A man's library is a sort of harem.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peace love and ATOM jazz

052310

The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn't understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had.

--Eric Schmidt

*Fragrantica*

It's been five or six months since I began writing for Fragrantica exclusively about natural perfume. My column appears twice monthly. It does a world of good for me to be writing about Natural Perfume. Fragrantica has 600,000 registered users--people who don't just surf there; people who have taken the time to create a profile and register their names. That's a very large audience, and they pay attention to me. People frequently admire my writing, judging from the many comments. This is just the ticket: by writing about natural perfume, I can make sure folks don't forget about the way things used to be. Remember, before Chanel No. 5 was released in 1920, every perfume in history (all perfume through the ages) was all-natural.

I'm doing my part in calling attention to that fact. If we can just get folks on naturals. Synthetic perfume contains neurotoxins, anti-freeze, and other substances which we know nothing about long-term effects. Do yourself a favor: stop using synthetic perfume. It doesn't matter whom you talk about: Serge Lutens, Joe Malone, Bond Street, it's all synthetic. The _only_ place you can find natural perfume is directly from natural perfumers. Don't be misled by perfume houses who claim their perfume is natural--now that we've got them on the run, they will say anything to obfuscate, render things unclear, and generally make a mess of the facts. Far less than 1% of the market is natural perfume. Don't forsake your principles. Here are a few:

Mandy Aftel

Anya McCoy

Emma Jane Leah

Strange Invisible

Sonoma Scent Studio

There are numerous others. Perhaps I will make it a point to include URLs in future installments.

*Lord's-Jester*

You can always view my homepage at Lord's Jester.

I expected Daphne to turn out right, and it did. It's a heavy brew, with everything from oakmoss to tonka bean, immortelle to frangipani, cypress to citrus (20 notes altogether). I think it works quite nicely; all the elements dove tail inside each other, and you have a perfume that you can't quite decipher. I will be pleased to offer this as my chypre. High-flying, loose, complex. We also made another attempt at Phoebe. I took out everything that didn't need to be there, allowing for the full magic of osmanthus to take over. I think this will be one of my best perfumes. I wrote out a recipe for Selene solid; it contains, among other things, one drop of osmanthus; I'm hoping it will add to the powderiness.

One of the other goals I've set for myself is this: to compose a fragrance that's a tribute to rose. This will be tough; I imagine I'll use a lot of things that smell rose-like, araucaria, rosewood, etc. I might make a solid perfume, as that's the ticket I used to feature jasmine (Anthea). I think Dionysus is just right; it smells funky and that's the key to that perfume. A little bit of cognac and spikenard, to add to the god of wine's inebriated state. It's another that's dense and rich; I'm hoping god of wine and merry-making will allow me to carry out what is my own impression of the perfume he would like. At the very least, I think he'll admire my going by the seat of my pants.

*Poem*

I am not

down with the anti-immigrant

legislation put into effect

in Arizona.

We are _all_

in this country descended

from immigrants.

From the slaves who

fight their way here

no matter what,

from Eastern Europeans

who somehow managed to escape

genocide and worse,

from Mexicans,

descended from La Raza,

who come here expecting

this would be the land of

opportunity.

All of them,

we are descended

from them all.

Maybe some folks

like to pretend

we're only descended from

white Europeans,

but in this mosaic where we

find ourselves,

we are all in this together.

In.

This.

Together.

*Catholic*

From the Writer's Almanac:

"It was on this day in 1891 that Pope Leo XIII issued an official Roman Catholic Church encyclical addressing 19th-century labor issues. It's called Rerum Novarum, Latin for "Of New Things," and it is considered the original foundation of Catholic social teaching.

"He said in the open letter that while the Church defends certain aspects of capitalism, including rights to private property, the free market cannot go unrestricted--that there is a moral obligation to pay laborers a fair and living wage.

"He had much more to say to employers; first, he told them "not to look upon their work people as their bondsmen." He told them it was never okay to cut workers' wages. And he told them to "be mindful of this--that to exercise pressure upon the indigent and the destitute for the sake of gain, and to gather one's profit out of the need of another, is condemned by all laws, human and divine. To defraud any one of wages that are his due is a great crime which cries to the avenging anger of Heaven."

"With these words Leo began a new chapter in the Catholic Church, one where social justice issues became incorporated into official Church doctrine, an essential part of faith, where the Church would stake out official positions and be vocal on issues like labor, war and peace, and the duties of governments to protect human rights."

Would that this man were still around. What scathing rebukes he would have for the state of global capitalism!

*Quotations*

The house rests not on the ground but on the woman.

--Mexican proverb

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

--Marcel Proust

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

--George Orwell

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.

--Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I'm celebrated for celebrating the uncelebrated.

--Studs Terkel

To create a perfume you have to be the servant of the unconscious. Each idea evolves and transforms, but there should be a surprise with each note.

--Serge Lutens

If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.

--John Stuart Mill

Writers can wear anything. I could go to a black-tie dinner in New York City with blue jeans on and boots and a cowboy hat and a bow tie, and people would just say, 'Oh, he's a writer.'

--John Grisham

A writer is, after all, only half his book. The other half is the reader and from the reader the writer learns.

--PL Travers

He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise.

--Oscar Wilde

Peace love and ATOM jazz

051610

I am incredibly lonely. Being tied to home is the problem. I can't even get women to look at me when I'm in a wheelchair. It's been nearly three years since I had a girlfriend. I am isolated, trapped, by my own inability to walk. If you all know folks with MS, don't let them disappear. It's a bitter life with no hope. It'll just be getting worse, so make connections while you still can. I can't help thinking I have a lot to give, despite my disabled state. I am totally isolated and trapped. You may think it's easy to meet people; with a wheelchair? I'm stuck trying to steal looks from people at parks and on the street. This is SO not fair!

_____

"I tell you that you will win thereby in this life, and that at every step you take along this path, you will see so much certainty of winning and so negligible a risk, that you will realize in the end that you have wagered on something certain and infinite, for which you have paid nothing."

--Blaise Pascal, on the existence of god

*Poem*

Goodbye

We never said goodbye.

Up and down and

over the hill we went,

and we did not say

goodbye. That's the part

which hurts the most.

Maybe when I forgave her,

on that frigid night,

I did manage to say

I didn't care about

any of the irreconcilable

differences, but I never

said goodbye.

She told me she wouldn't

be half the person she'd

become were it not for me,

and I took that statement

and I did not look up.

She was coming back to me,

I was sure of it. But then,

the things that you're

most certain of have a way

of turning to dust as soon

as you gaze upon them.

*Lord's-Jester*

This week we made another attempt at Phoebe, and one at Daphne. With Phoebe, I made a couple of leaps of faith as far as what might work; I put honeysuckle in the heart and mastic on top. Wrong choices! What I ended up with was far too grassy; it contained none of the precious character of osmanthus. Back to the drawing board, though I have a fairly good idea what has to happen: I need to take out everything that gets in the way of the osmanthus. No honeysuckle and no mastic. I need to get out of the way. This perfume seems much more rarefied than it is; I think it's the anonymous flower (osmanthus) in the middle of it. It's working--the way I had it. Failure #23. Long line of failures, but this is one I hope will be one of my best perfumes.

One thing that's a problem: I cannot find pine-needle absolute. The most I can find is pine-needle macerated in fixed oil (useless for alcohol perfumes). This is so not fair. I had a bottle of pine-needle absolute that I got a while ago from Aftelier (got .5oz again, in a pinch; Mandy knew); I had _no idea_ it was so hard to find. This is like powdery amber in every bottle; the idea that I can't get it anymore has me beside myself. Nowhere, no how. It was a trick of mine to include pine-needle absolute in base sections far and wide; the fact that it smells like amber was an added bonus (in truth, it doesn't really; it's a sweet approximation of amber). The idea that I can't get it now was a surprise I wasn't expecting.

Daphne is my chypre. As such, it's dense and rich. It's also somewhat sprawling; I put everything but the kitchen sink in there (20 notes altogether). What I tried to do was to feature tonka bean; it's an overbearing material, so I can't hide it for the life of me. Also, the point of chypres is that they have oakmoss in them (cypress too); as such, I tried an offshoot of amber in the base (tonka instead of vanilla). The perfume is very complex, and I'm hoping for the best. The problem is, I can't seem to cut down enough on the very-vanilla tonka bean; Uta and I smelled it and concluded it's still heavy on tonka bean. Back to the drawing board, though I'm quite sure I've eliminated enough of the offender; now it's a matter of balancing _the rest_ of the perfume.

*Quotations*

'Do you know what's wrong with Americans? They're too serious. They don't have enough sense of humor.' I knew just what he was saying, because the Japanese Buddhist world has this knack for seeming very formal and very strict on the surface, and then just having a freewheeling, very tolerant time behind the surface. That's a trick. A lot of American Buddhism is still crypto-Protestantism.

--Gary Snyder

There never was a great soul that did not have some divine inspiration.

--Marcus T Cicero

In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob.

--Salvador Dali

Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.

--Allen Ginsberg

I was tired of the comedians who made jokes about their mothers-in-law and crabgrass and avoided the serious issues. I was just sick to my stomach of wearing the dumb tuxedo and entertaining middle-class morons.

--George Carlin

The perfumes are powerful magicians, being able to transport you through the years that you lived.

--Helen Keller (translated from French)

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

--Woody Allen

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.

--Charles DuBois

Nothing is; everything is becoming.

--Heraclitus

There is no knowledge of true being. The world is fundamentally in a state of becoming.

--Nietzsche

*Music*

Rufus Wainwright, All the Days are Nights. Maybe this is the album he meant to make, but it lacks the epic qualities of the rest of his work. Oh, I had high hopes for this record! It's just solo piano and vocals, and the tempo is all wrong. I'm all for solo piano and vocals, but this record is seriously lacking. Maybe other fans will hear it and say, "Oh, this is the album we were hoping for;" I think those types will be few and far between.

Tina Dico, The Road to Gävle. This is ear candy, especially if you've gotten used to the sound of Ms Dico's voice. From the first track to the last it's very fresh; this is a musician who's not used to the instrumentation that's common among others, as such, it comes off as very cutting edge. Really, anything she were to do would come off as fresh to the unaccustomed listener. Here's looking forward to a long career for Dico.

Peace love and ATOM jazz

050910

I've been burning natural incense again. It makes me want to include incense with each bottle of perfume. In fact, the company I bought it from included a small sample of neat, tidy short incense sticks, which would be perfect for including with a perfume bottle. The best thing about them is that they're very stout. I'll let you know as I get closer to including incense sticks. I think it's a grand idea to include incense, and it completes the olfactory experience.

*Lord's-Jester*

All of my perfumes are available at Lord's Jester. This week I received a couple of reviews that I think it's fair to say are raves. Regarding a set of samples I sent him, writer for the LA Times and blogger (Perfume-Smellin' Things) Tom Pease had this to say:

"Selene is iris and violet with the lovely simple sweetness to it. It gets lusher and more dense as it wears, but not so much that I wouldn't wear it myself. The iris and violet are beautifully balanced and are very French in that there's no post-modern trickery in here. This is a bouquet, not a bulb. That's a good thing here.

"Heracles starts off with bright citrus peel, then becomes smokier and herbaceous (which must be the boronia) the longer you wear it. I suppose this is the one that would be considered the most "masculine" of the five, but if you're the sort of lady who will buy her fellah Derby and filch it at every chance, I think you've found his Father's Day gift.

"Demeter is tobacco and hay and I think a touch of cool mint; making perfect sense for a scent devoted to the goddess of the harvest. It actually reminds me a little of Chergui, although I think that Demeter might be (I know, strike me with lightning) be more all-around wearable. Chergui sometimes makes me feel like I'm being buffeted by it; Demeter feels like an embrace.

"Ares starts all citronella-spicy, befitting the god of manly strength. A deliciously dry yet warm amber drops in later, melding to the spices and adding quite a bit of smoky zing. It also has great lasting power, especially considering that it's an Eau de Cologne

"Anthea, the solid, is an ode to jasmine, I think with orange and lemon flower. It surprised me by being my favorite of the group: the jasmine is silky-smooth and whispers, somewhat like the jasmine we have here in Southern California. It plays an olfactory hide-and-seek: stick your nose in it and you smell the orange and lemon blossoms but draw back and the jasmine peeps out and winks.

"All of these are lovely; you all know that I love some of the more outre scents out there and the sometime carnival-ride-in-a-bottle they might produce. But sometimes you might want to get off the merry-go-round. These are beautifully balanced, elegant creations that I think are going to make a lot of people very happy. They certainly did me."

Having smelled my samples at Sniffapalooza, regarding my perfume Demeter, Rodney Hughes has this to say:

"At the recent Sniffapalooza Spring Fling it was Adam Gottshalk's "Demeter" that captivated my senses. This gorgeous petit-elixir named after the Goddess symbolized by red poppies among the barley (is both sweet and savory). This fragrance opens to notes of fermented honey; sun burnt sheaves (hay) and roasted leaves moist and full of earth’s nutrients. Its middle is filled with the subdued smoke of incense settling down into the heart of this fragrance. It is warm, without overwhelming you with heat; it has a sense of restraint and allows a savoring experience. It is a nicely grounded fragrance that is comfort food and nectar for the soul."

--Rodney Hughes, Natural Fragrance Editor, owner of Therapeutate

It pleases me that both these reviews are from men, though I have a strong following among women too (other natural perfumers, perfumistas, bloggers, etc.). Unisex is my game.

*Taiwan*

One of the facets of my time in Taiwan that I often take for granted is the phenomenon of betel nuts. I'm not too sure about the details; while I was there, I had a distinct don't-ask-don't-know attitude towards all things. It might be that those betel nuts are laced with something toxic; they do have a pronounced little ball of red stuff in the center. To this day, I'm not sure if the red stuff wasn't what turned your mouth all red; it seems likely. These occupied much of your time on the island though, depending on what sort of person you were of course. This was a sit-down-next-to-your-brother and bond on all things nasty sort of a venture. Betel-nut chewing men (they were all men) had a nasty, bloody color to their mouths. Actually chewing them is a bear; it's hard enough just to get them into your mouth, the nut being stringy and undigestible.

The two types most likely to enjoy betel nuts were mafiosos and coolies. Mafia men were oh-so-cool about it, like they were in no danger because they had seen _some shit_; for the coolies, it was more a matter of survival, like they needed a pack of smokes. Both were likely to, on hearing one speak perfect Chinese, break in and offer you betel nuts, cigarettes, Kao Liang (a foul concoction distilled from sorghum on a nearby military island), etc. Freely offer them they would; in the one case (mafia men) with a highly qualitative air ("If you take this, you _will_ be my friend."), the other was all rootsy and translucent ("The gods intended that we should meet on this day, in this place."). I never did get into any trouble with the mafia; I suppose it's because I followed one simple rule: don't mess with them and they won't mess with you.

*Quotations*

If you don't embarrass yourself everyday, at least once, you are not growing, or learning, or risking, or alive!

--Adam Gilad

Come to me without you; I will come to you without me.

--Rumi

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

--Anais Nin

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

--Helen Keller

The poets and philosophers before me discovered the unconscious; what I discovered was the scientific method by which the unconscious can be studied.

--Sigmund Freud

When I grow up, I want to be a little boy.

--Joseph Heller

If boyhood and youth are but vanity, must it not be our ambition to become men?

--Vincent van Gogh

One of the hardest conditions of boyhood is the almost continuous strain put upon the powers of invention by the constant and harassing necessity for explanations of every natural act.

--Booth Tarkington

His English education at one of the great public schools had preserved his intellect perfectly and permanently at the stage of boyhood.

--GK Chesterton

There is a crisis in boyhood in America today.

--William Pollack

Peace love and ATOM jazz

050210

My nearby hangout is Madison Square Park. It's got lots of trees, as any park should. It's populated by employees from nearby offices and restaurants. It was the original location of Madison Square Garden.

*Lord's-Jester*

I have one set of samples into a blogger named Tom. With luck, he will be kind. I sent him five perfumes: Selene (EdP), Heracles (EdT), Demeter (EdT), Ares (EdC), and Anthea solid. Really, there's nothing bad he could say; I will take it with a grain of salt. I think it's most likely he will have some rave reviews. He asked me five questions, having to do with my perspectives on natural perfume, what lies ahead with small houses such as mine, whether or not any stores carry my stuff, etc. I haven't yet spoken of Thorson, the premier salesman. In about two months, he will go on a selling spree, hitting up every classy place we can think of, Henri Bendel, Lord & Taylor, Saks, etc.

This week we made a try at something supposed to be a certain animal-note doppelganger. It's a full perfume, but with a light top section. First whiff says we pegged it; it will take a couple of weeks to mature. Part of the reason for our success is that what exactly this particular note smells like is anybody's guess (it's no longer available); as long as it smells primarily animal-like, it will be good to go. Most of my perfumes smell primarily animal-like as a matter of fact, at least to my nose. What goes on above the animal note is where the richness comes in. I think of my perfumes as predicated on animal notes, even if there's only a tiny bit--it's that little bit which gives the perfume life.

My latest article for Fragrantica is published. It asks the question why perfumers do what we do, among numerous other points. In the last paragraph, I write point blank, "I am rosemary, but I feel like labdanum; I exude fir, but the sense of belonging I feel has more to do with pine-needle absolute. How about you?" I suspect on will come a slew of comments, from people largely surprised that anything at all was asked of them. My assertions are vague enough that I believe folks will have fun with it, those who can be bothered to respond that is. At the very least, I know I'll get folks thinking about such questions, under the guise of a would-be "olfactory identity."

*OPP*

Dear Adam,

by Ariell Dione Hartwell

14 April 2010

The wordless

wonder, you

wander to

me, from

beyond the

beyond and

through memory, and

I trust in your soul,

as I've always said,

from the first time

we met, to

those days

at the bars,

to those poems

I forget (about

birds of a

feather,

or painting

as a child, or

a forever day

that you had

at the

beach, or

being lonely

and having

the jazz

to play, or

learning to play

the bass guitar,

or feeling satisfied

that someone

had gone

or

had stayed, or

had stayed away, or

your favorite

poet,

or the

real cures

to illness

you'd find

only

in Third Worlds),

to those

rabbits you

kept, to

those times

I have wept,

to the wine

and the cupboard

and lists

and all that,

to the parties

and live jazz

and old pens

and hats,

to the

vegan nachos

they served

up the street,

to the walk

up the street

and the talk

as we walked,

to the vinyls,

the new sounds,

to the

pissing

downtown

because

it felt right

to piss

in plain sight,

to all that

I can't

or won't

say,

at this time,

to the future poems

that will

need

to

exist, to

the making

of new lists,

and to

that

feral cat

of yours

that had

ringworms,

to your

sense

of humor,

and to

my memory,

I say to you,

quietly, with my

life, as I've said,

since we met

at the bar

like the pull

of a magnet

or Murphy's Law:

Dear Athiest,

you have

become God

over _us_,

decide what to

do; in your

judgment

I trust.

*Quotations*

Art is not made to decorate rooms. It is an offensive weapon in the defense against the enemy.

--Picasso

Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.

--Goethe

There is no human bliss equal to twelve hours of work with only six hours in which to do it.

--Anthony Trollope

I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves.

--Mary Wollstonecraft

With most categories of books you are aiming to make as much money as possible, with poetry you are aiming to lose as little as possible.

--TS Eliot

Where could I live better? Below, the brothel caters to the flesh. And there is the church which forgives sin. And there is the hospital where we die.

--CP Cavafy

Then when I turned, I saw in the cast, just over the woods, the modest, pale, cloud-like moon, two-thirds full, looking spirit-like on these daylight scenes. Such a sight excites me. The earth is worthy to inhabit.

--Thoreau

Too much of anything is bad, but too much champagne is just right.

--Samuel Clemens

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

--Leo Buscaglia

The future is the legacy of today.

--Ambassador Braun

*Music*

May Flowers 10:

1. Draw the Line, David Gray

2. Like a Star (bossa-nova remix), Corrine Bailey Rae

3. Fitz and the Dizzyspells, Andrew Bird

4. Aeriel's Song, Jesse Sykes & Phil Wandscher

5. In Love and War, Tina Dico

6. You Painted Yourself In, Jolie Holland

7. Stood Up, A Fine Frenzy

8. Bicycle, Memory Tapes

9. World to Me (live), David Gray

10. Ballad of Copper Junction, Jeffrey Foucault

11. Core and Rind, Andrew Bird

12. Private Party, Tina Dico

13. Bird of the Summer, A Fine Frenzy

14. Palmyra, Jolie Holland

15. 1234 (bossa-nova remix), Feist

16. Neighborhood 2 - Laika, Arcade Fire

17. Ain't No Love (live), David Gray

18. The Privateers, Andrew Bird

19. Hitchhiker's Theme, Tina Dico

20. The Beacon, A Fine Frenzy

21. Enjoy Yourself, Jolie Holland

Peace love and ATOM jazz

042510

I recently got a wheelchair again. It's an ultralight rigid frame, 14 (fourteen) pounds! It's easier to push than a stroller. It is liberating to sense that I am totally FREE again, free to go to coffee shops, free to explore, free to go to Central Park if I see fit. Free to wander, free to get lost, free to watch the sunset. Granted I'm not totally free--I would be hard pressed to make it to the upper east side, or the whole of the west side, for example. That's what Access-A-Ride is for. First thing I'm going to do is go to the park! For that matter Madison Square Park is right around the corner. Lollygagging has never appeared more apt.

*Lord's-Jester*

I got the title I wanted (Professional Perfumer); now I'm ready to rest on my laurels and let the income trickle in from my web site. I really don't feel motivated to SELL, SELL, SELL. I want further experimentation, want to play around with combinations I have yet to try, want to use my imagination to envision the likely results of further exploration. Some folks would be motivated to sell themselves hard; I am humble in my desire for perfume income. The reason for this: I can't stop thinking about the fact I could be a great writer, whether with journalism, poetry, plays, novels, social criticism, etc. (journalism, poetry, and plays I have some success at). I guess for me perfume will always be something I _can_ do, but I will always feel that in my heart of hearts I want to write.

The items I'm looking forward most to playing around with include flouve, honeysuckle, araucaria, and mastic. Honeysuckle is heady and deep; how well it will combine with other notes is the question. I assume it will take just the right notes to marry it with. Araucaria I'm told is a heart note; judging from its crystallized consistency, I'm guessing it's a note which falls part way between base and heart. When things have a crystallized consistency, I have trouble thinking of them as "pure heart" notes. Honeysuckle is definitely a heart note; the jury's still out on what category to put araucaria in.

Flouve and mastic are earthy type scents; some of my favorite absolutes are hay and tobacco, so I have high hopes for these two notes. Flouve smells like a complex cross between hay and tobacco; whether or not it can be used successfully in the same circumstances is the pertinent question. Mastic, a top note, is even tougher to put a finger on; it's grassy and I have the impression it will tie together rather deftly the top. Just as tagetes can be used to balance citrus notes, in miniscule amounts, so too I have the feeling mastic will work to balance floral notes. A note which can accomplish this feat is to be treasured. Really, I stop and think that there is far too much I don't yet know; I'll be calling myself a would-be natural perfumer for some time.

*Perfume*

From The Art of Perfumery... by GW Septimus Piesse (1857):

"Peau d'Espagne, or Spanish Skin, is nothing more than highly perfumed leather. Good sound pieces of wash leather are to be steeped in a mixture of ottos in which are dissolved some odoriferous gum-resins, thus: 1/2 an ounce of otto of neroli, otto of rose, and [sandalwood]; 1/4 ounce of otto of lavender, [lemon] verbena, and bergamot; two drams of otto of cloves and otto of cinnamon, with any others thought fit. In this mixture dissolve about two ounces of gum benzoin. Now place the skin in it to steep for a day or so, then hang it over a line to dry.

"A paste is now to be made by rubbing in a mortar one dram of civet and one dram of grain musk, and enough solution of gum acacia or gum tragacanth to give it a spreading consistency.... The skin being cut up into pieces about four inches square are then to be spread over, plaster fashion, with the [gum mixture]. Two pieces being put together, having the civet plaster inside them, are then to be placed between sheets of paper, weighed or pressed, and left to dry thus for a week. Finally each double skin, now called Peau d'Espagne, is to be enveloped in some pretty silk or satin.

"Skin or leather thus prepared evolves a pleasant odor for YEARS [emphasis added], and hence are frequently called, 'the inexhaustible sachet.'"

I have every intention of making Spanish skin at some point. Down the line I'd like to offer journal covers thus prepared. The fact that the above formula is _by weight_ makes much more sense to me now that I have experience making perfume weight-wise.

*Quotations*

Smells are surer than sounds or sights to make your heart strings crack.

--Rudyard Kipling

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

--HL Mencken

Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?

--Friedrich Nietzsche

Every time I get a script it's a matter of trying to know what I could do with it. I see colors, imagery. It has to have a smell. It's like falling in love. You can't give a reason why.

--Paul Newman

Feelings are like chemicals: the more you analyze them the worse they smell.

--Charles Kingsley

Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.

--Henry Rollins

There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.

--Mae West

What we call nature is a poem hidden behind a wonderful secret writing; if we could decipher the puzzle, we should recognize in it the odyssey of the human spirit, which in astonishing delusion flees from itself while seeking itself.

--Ernst Cassirer

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them--that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

--Lao Tzu

If there is to be any peace it will come through being not having.

--Henry Miller

Peace love and ATOM jazz

041810

I've been soaking up the Indian vibes here in Little Bombay; have yet to make it around the corner to Blue Smoke or The Jazz Standard.

*Lord's-Jester*

Sniffapalooza was terrific. Loads of perfume people, all there to experience new perfumes. It's an international conference. I got seven perfumes as samples in front of 85 people. I had my friend Meredith present for me. With her, Thorson, and Chikako, I had plenty of backup. It was a trip to meet so many people I've only interacted with online. People were full of praise for my perfumes; I received honest feedback about various brews. One person smelled Demeter and searched for the right word to describe it; "Raunchy?" I said, to her delight. I've found folks appreciate down-to-earth talk about smells, whether in person, in journalism, or in the blogosphere. Great day to revel in all the prizes Perfume brought.

I had a revelation lately about the denigration of scent: I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds and Dr Reed, explaining why the folks present didn't have to worry about the persistence of an odor, says, "Smell is the weakest sense." Lightbulb! Up to now I've thought it was the existence of foul odors that caused its denigration; now I see that it's the underwhelming nature of the olfactory sense that causes it to be maligned. What I can say for sure is that, for many of us, smells conjure up the deepest of experiences; while some feel there's no way for smell to be experienced deeply, many of us sense a profound impact from the odors which greet us out in the world. Living through the nose, I like to call it.

Running a business is a mind-bending experience. I have three or four perfumes for which the complete formula is written out; these include Phoebe and Daphne, which are refined and complete. Chronos has yet to be sent into the Guild as well. Then I have my version of Mille Fleur which I call 10,000 Flowers (in China they say 10,000 to mean a lot). Also, I have a jasmine perfume in the form of Anthea; I'd like very much to make a tribute to rose. What will my financial manager say about my wanting to bring five more perfumes online? He will likely say we have to get the rest of my perfumes out the door first; he's very right about that, but I can't stop thinking about what I'm capable of. People have to smell Phoebe. Here's looking forward to a long life as a perfumer.

*Adam's-Index*

Best thing about calling myself a perfumer: never ceases to bring an incredulous look

Best thing about being a natural perfumer: spending all my time immersed in that most amorphous of areas, the olfactory

Best thing about imagining myself as a perfumer: knowing that I affect people in deeper ways than with any other art

Worst thing about the business: tremendous cost just to get my product ready for purchase

'Compensating advantage' of that fact: knowing that I affect people in deeper ways than with any other art

Top aspect of being a member of the Natural Perfumers Guild: sensing a connection to the past

Top aspect of being an all-natural perfumer: sensing a connection to the past

Worst aspect of being an all-natural perfumer: comparatively low profit margin

Best thing about it: the profit margin is still substantial

What keeps me awake at night: the thought that we have such a limited vocabulary to discuss what is our most complex sense

*Top-Five*

5. French brunch, with pastries and top-notch scrambled eggs

4. Vegan food less than a block away

3. Blue Smoke

2. The Jazz Standard

1. The rise of sensibility in government

*Quotations*

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.

--Gandhi

A poem releases itself, secretes itself slowly, sometimes almost poisonously, into the mind of the reader.

--Mark Strand

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.

--Jefferson

I am not interested in such subjects as the adulteries of dentists. I am interested in those things that repeat and repeat and repeat in the lives of the millions.

--Thornton Wilder

Truth is for tailors and shoemakers. I, on the contrary, have always held that the Lord has a penchant for masquerades.

--Isak Dineson

I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.

--Pietro Aretino

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

--Steve Jobs

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

--Ivan Panin

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

--Lincoln

A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt to be dangerous.

--Alfred Adler

Peace love and ATOM jazz